After a long night of ghost hunting, the adventure begins...
I’ve been buzzin’ to write this post for a while… It required me to sit on my butt and draw a ‘toon for it though… one of which I knocked off quickly, so it’s not a “pristine” sort of cartooning job. However, it’s good enuff for government work.
My adventure began after a long night of ghost hunting at Smalley’s Inn Restaurant. It was late, obviously. I loaded up my equipment, fired up the CD player and headed out on the road in what I lovingly refer to as my “Destination Truth Vehicle” – Desti for short. Anyone who has watched Destination Truth will note that most of the transportation they encounter is held together with string and duct tape and is occasionally non-functional.
Desti came into my possession after falling on some hard times, selling my bad-ass Duramax Diesel truck, and needing some form of transpo to get from point A to B and back again, hopefully in one piece. Desti was the result of a dealership selling me a REAL Destination Truth vehicle that was not only burning oil, but had knockin’ valves, a tilted engine, bent frame and many mysteriously missing components that were relatively necessary. Did I mention tranny trouble? I complained and wound up with a better deal for this Pathfinder… that also had some issues, but far fewer. Moral of the story, never buy a car on Ebay and not go look at it in person. I’d lay the blame on my spouse, but I agreed, so – oh well. My bad.
My main issue with Desti is that somebody didn’t put Humpty together again very well after an altercation with another vehicle, tree or large moose. It differs from most Destination Truth vehicles in that it runs well and is “engineomically” sound. My first week with it found me riding around with the grill in the back seat. Once you opened the hood, it would fall out. AND, you could pick the parking lights out with your fingers. NICE! Thank God I got a good deal on this, otherwise I would have been even more annoyed.
We opted to jury-rig the situation with silicone and some nuts and bolts. One of these days I’ll send it in for rehab. One of the interesting things was the cap to the runner-board on the driver’s side was missing. This created a lovely humming sound in the crosswind while traveling at good speed. I’ve thought of drilling holes in it so that I can play the runner-board-flute as I travel down the highway. I’m sure it would discourage the deer or encourage a moose.
It was the runner board I suspected as I toodled up the Taconic State Parkway in NY that fateful night. It was humming like a son-of-a-b**ch or so I thought. It was a windy night. The sound got louder to the point where I decided I needed to turn off the radio and listen carefully to determine whether or not the front driver’s side wheel was thinking about bailing.Â
Anyone who has ever travelled the Taconic at night would be hesitant to stop for any reason… no shoulders, no street lights, curves, trees and possible forest lurkers who are up to no good. Analyzing the situation, I determined that the car was traveling straight, the wheel felt fine, but something was GRAVELY loose and racketing around the wheel well area. My heart took up residence somewhere in my throat and was desperately trying to seek higher ground from there.
I cautiously proceeded on my hour trip North, feeling my way, listening to every vibration, basically making a vain attempt to stay logical and not freak out. Needless to say I made it, a little stressed, but safely home. I went straight up to bed, did not “pass go”, and did not check the car out. It wasn’t on fire and I didn’t have the stomach to deal with the situation. I left it till morning.
Morning found me underneath my car poking around… not the first time mind you! It turns out a portion of the bumper, which sits in a slot and deflects air, dislodged itself and joined the bits of debris that litter the Taconic. Guess I won’t see that again! This must have helped knock free the shroud underneath to the point it interfered with the wheel as it bounced free. That certainly explained the insanity I heard under the car. I subsequently dug out a pack of locking “twisty-ties” or whatever they are called and secured my shroud, what was left of it. D**n I’m handy!
So, that was my big paranormal adventure of the night. Demons were taking apart my car. HA! Yes, I plan to get this sucker fixed, however, it’s such a great conversation piece, it will be as-is for a while. Besides, it’s kinda cool to look at the “twisty-ties” sticking out from the wheel well. Good thing I’m not self-conscious.
Anyhow, here’s the drawing of my Desti leaving parts along the highway. One of these days I’ll get picked up for littering!
Eat Cookies, Repair your car!
Tj
